Just do it. Live out loud. Go hard or go home. You’ve read the slogans, you’ve got the idea and the principal is without a doubt a recipe for igniting success and living the dream life of the entrepreneur.
The truth is every time I read one of those inspirational ‘go get em’ quotes my heart sinks a little like the ship I am about to set sail, is sinking before I have even begun. I have the dream, but the vision seems that god damn big, that I quiver at the thought of little old me being remotely capable of building the ship, let alone navigating through the wild seas.
I am terrified most of the time. Survival instincts have kicked in and whilst I have already jumped off the safe old ledge of 9.00 to 5.00 employment it’s scary backing your self. Whilst I am my biggest fan, (I wouldn’t have even begun this journey if I didn’t have some faith) I am also my greatest enemy. That I can guarantee.
I ask myself what I am actually scared of and the answers come to me thick and fast. What if people wont like my idea? What If I can’t keep up appearances? What if this whole idea of executing a ‘dream life’ is a myth in my mind that couldn’t possibly come true? Quite simply what happens if I don’t have what it takes?
The doubt demons. They are the part of me that ark up when I read those quotes scattered across magazines, and in self-help books. On T-shirts, bill boards and by the ones who were brave enough to make it. I guess that’s the difference between the gunners and the doers. Sheer acts of bravery.
The further I travel down to road of the entrepreneur I am beginning to understand that not everyone is going to like you. You are going to have to make hard decisions that require putting yourself and your dreams on platform number one. I am struggling with this, as like most human beings acceptance from others is a comforting feeling. It is so brave to accept oneself, and that is not comfortable at all.
My Identity has had to become fluid. I had such ridged ideas about my morals and ethics but those values were so often placed on the needs of others. Looking in the mirror and asking what I wanted was again a sheer act of courage. Who am I is no longer a solid rectangle, but like shifting sand I am morphing into someone I have never met. Leaning into the future, whilst keeping a tight grip of some concept of identity. Some idea of who I think I should be.
I am not saying that my core values are not the same, but I have had to apply that same level of respect to myself and whilst that sounds grand, right now I am battling with feelings of rejection and failure that are on ‘speaker phone’ deep in my sub conscious brain. These feelings are not based on reality as such, but in my reality there is a deep fear of allowing myself to spread my wings, take off and be the greatest version of me. There is a reason why the greatest of leaders, have often endured great struggles before finding success. True leadership requires deep resilience and some of that battle is against oneself.
Following your dreams is truly amazing, and for anyone on that road I am sure imagining your life without the purpose and passion that makes your heart pump would feel like aborting yourself. I know that is exactly how I would feel which is why turning back could never be an option.
Really the whole point of this article is to applaud the brave ones. To those of you who have made it I am in awe of your bravery more than your brand or the shape of your bottom line. I am in awe of your ability to overcome the doubts, to make the hard decisions and to believe in yourself despite failure; despite the challenges, the fear and self-doubt you may have felt along the way.
I hope that I have what it takes to be just like you brave leaders. I really get that a dream catcher on the wall paints a pretty picture of your dream life, but no one talks about the internal cob webs we must clear through to bring that dream life to fruition. Here’s to the brave ones, because this is for you.